Principle # 1: Become Incredibly Selfish
Selfish has such a negative connotation!
How do we normally treat the idea of being selfish?
--We might lie to ourselves that we are not selfish, try to justify our actions, or try to make ourselves look good or feel good by doing un-selfish things.
--We may have inappropriately placed expectations on others for all our good and "self-less" deeds.
--Often we are just denying meeting our own needs and then blaming others for it, justifying our feelings or fears.
So becoming selfish on purpose to get our needs met with out strings, is actually a win-win.
How do we become Incredibly Selfish then?
--Being "straight with yourself" honest to the core is what is needed to get started and sustain a selfish life.
--We need to stop thinking for others and making up stories about what is going on.
--Not allow ourselves to get caught up in the emotion of whatever is going on.
--Let go of all the "shoulds" we hold over ourselves.
--Stop resisting getting our needs met or saying what we want to say.
--Stop filling someone else's warehouse while neglecting our own
So, what would be a more positive definition of "selfish"?
--Being personally aware of what I need in order to show up.
What would be a distinction between "selfish" and "Incredibly selfish"?
--selfish is saying "no" but feeling guilty!
incredibly selfish is saying "no" and feeling incredibly good about it!
To be incredibly selfish means:
--We can move independent of others and choose more cleanly for ourselves. --We do not live for the results or outcomes of others' lives.
What shifts are needed in order to become incredibly selfish?
--honesty
--understanding our needs, wants, values, desires
--no shame
--courage
--commitment
--support
--responsibility
What are the benefits of being incredibly selfish?
--Selfishness frees up more ENERGY!
--Allows us to live guilt free!
--Add incredible value to others!
--Go for bigger goals beyond needs!
Katherine notes some Key Points:
* Being authentic to who you are
* Take a lesson from toddlers
* Being selfish is freedom
* In the moment, honest with oneself
* Get clear, be true to yourself
* Allowing myself to 'Be' more instead of 'Do' more
* Being able to live guilt free
* Taking care of myself & my energy
* Putting your oxygen mask on first BEFORE assisting others
* Clear understanding of self
* Courage
* Commitment
* Supportive environments
How do we normally treat the idea of being selfish?
--We might lie to ourselves that we are not selfish, try to justify our actions, or try to make ourselves look good or feel good by doing un-selfish things.
--We may have inappropriately placed expectations on others for all our good and "self-less" deeds.
--Often we are just denying meeting our own needs and then blaming others for it, justifying our feelings or fears.
So becoming selfish on purpose to get our needs met with out strings, is actually a win-win.
How do we become Incredibly Selfish then?
--Being "straight with yourself" honest to the core is what is needed to get started and sustain a selfish life.
--We need to stop thinking for others and making up stories about what is going on.
--Not allow ourselves to get caught up in the emotion of whatever is going on.
--Let go of all the "shoulds" we hold over ourselves.
--Stop resisting getting our needs met or saying what we want to say.
--Stop filling someone else's warehouse while neglecting our own
So, what would be a more positive definition of "selfish"?
--Being personally aware of what I need in order to show up.
What would be a distinction between "selfish" and "Incredibly selfish"?
--selfish is saying "no" but feeling guilty!
incredibly selfish is saying "no" and feeling incredibly good about it!
To be incredibly selfish means:
--We can move independent of others and choose more cleanly for ourselves. --We do not live for the results or outcomes of others' lives.
What shifts are needed in order to become incredibly selfish?
--honesty
--understanding our needs, wants, values, desires
--no shame
--courage
--commitment
--support
--responsibility
What are the benefits of being incredibly selfish?
--Selfishness frees up more ENERGY!
--Allows us to live guilt free!
--Add incredible value to others!
--Go for bigger goals beyond needs!
Katherine notes some Key Points:
* Being authentic to who you are
* Take a lesson from toddlers
* Being selfish is freedom
* In the moment, honest with oneself
* Get clear, be true to yourself
* Allowing myself to 'Be' more instead of 'Do' more
* Being able to live guilt free
* Taking care of myself & my energy
* Putting your oxygen mask on first BEFORE assisting others
* Clear understanding of self
* Courage
* Commitment
* Supportive environments
A participant comments:
I love the idea of being really selfish, being selfish for me gives me complete freedom. Freedom that allows me to be myself fully and be, do and have whatever it is that I say I want or not. I love that. I love the idea of no having to please anyone just to look good. So it give me to option to want to please someone just for the sake of pleasing or not. Being Selfish, gives me to freedom to allow others their freedom. They do not have to please me either, I completely love that. A person, whether they know it of not can be their true self with me and I do not have to be attached to any of the outcomes, but I can state implicitly what I want or not.
This experience allows me to free from hurt and not blame anyone for my feelings. My feelings are mine and the person do not have feel responsible for my feelings. Being selfish is one of the most amazing tools to have in in our world.
last on not least, using this tools, gives me the gift of ariel observation of my life.
I love it.
This experience allows me to free from hurt and not blame anyone for my feelings. My feelings are mine and the person do not have feel responsible for my feelings. Being selfish is one of the most amazing tools to have in in our world.
last on not least, using this tools, gives me the gift of ariel observation of my life.
I love it.
Are you ready to become incredibly selfish?
© Jessie Hipolit, Mountain View Coaching 2007 All Rights Reserved